Fly your butterflies in formation

Stage fright can be crippling - especially for leaders.
It robs you of the confidence needed for influence.
A leader without influence is totally ineffective.

Fear of public speaking is worse than death.
I used to get sweaty palms before a speech.
I have been bathed in sweat during a speech.
I would have to take a shower and change clothes.
That’s what anxiety did to me. Maybe you, too.

My local Toastmasters club invited me to join in 1985.
Toastmasters is not a drinking club.
It teaches communication and leadership skills.
In Toastmasters we have a favored saying:
It’s OK to have butterflies before a speech.
You just need to fly them in formation.

Psychologists define our anxiety as worry and unease.
But controlled anxiety can be beneficial.
Athletes feel it before a contest.
Musicians and actors before a performance.
It can enhance performance and give you an edge.
It is part of the mental and emotional game of success.

We must learn to control our anxiety and fear.
It we let it get too high, our performance suffers.
You’ve seen athletes and other clutch under stress.
Pro golfers take control - or their game crumbles.
Tennis stars take over with the match on the line.

Researchers have studied how our brains learn best.
That comes when stress hormones are mildly elevated.
But high anxiety can make simple tasks difficult.
Cramming for exams the night before raises anxiety.
The same with preparing a speech in the 11th hour.
Discipline and preparation give you confidence.
Don’t defeat yourself. Discipline yourself.

Toastmasters changed my life and conquered my fear.
I feel completely bullet-proof now.
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, too.
It can do the same for you if you need it.
Even if you don’t, it will make you a stronger leader.
Look for Toastmasters clubs in your community.
Just Google Toastmasters in your town.
Find out where and when they meet and show up.
You will be welcomed with open arms.
It will change your life for the better.

For more on building confidence, email me.
I’m always glad to help.

Where are you meant to be?

Finding your purpose in life is critical.
It will become the greatest discovery in your life.
It will show you where to go. What to do.
It will place you where you are meant to be.

Let me give you a great example.
His name is Bob Hurley.
He coaches basketball at a small parochial school.
Bob Hurley could earn more as a college coach.
But the Jersey City legend has turned down all offers.

Hurley’s teams have won more than 1,000 games.
They have won 23 state titles and four national titles.
He does it the old-fashioned way — with hard work.
“Hard work” is his St. Anthony’s teams’ mantra.

When his sons played for him, he was tough on them.
One went on to help win a national title at Duke.
Both sons are now coaches themselves.
Hurley admits he is super demanding on his boys.
No long hair, No drugs or alcohol. Good grades.
Show up early for practice. Work hard.

His players’ parents have to pay a $5,000 tuition.
Hurley does not recruit. Boys want to play for him.
Most go on to play college basketball.
Some make it to the National Basketball Association.
Only two of his boys have failed to go to college.

Why does Hurley stay at a small, struggling school?
Because, he says, ”I’m where I’m supposed to be.”

Are you where you’re supposed to be?
How do you know?
Would you turn down all those offers?
Are you at a point where money doesn’t matter?
Where it’s all about your purpose in life?

Special note to Success Strategies readers

Would you like to help improve my new book?
It is a book on leadership. Its title is:

“What It Costs to Be the Boss”

Its premise is that leadership is a learned art.
It is a privilege, honor and responsibility.
Many managers, Few true leaders.
To read a sampler of the book, email me
Jerry@JerryBellune.com
All I ask is that you give me your evaluation.

Books are made good by good readers.

The inner game of winning

Do others respond to our expectations?
Last week we talked about incentives.
Some motivate. Some don’t.
Today we’ll discuss other ways to motivate our teams.
Research finds a pecking order can raise productivity.

In one experiment, nearly 140 people were surveyed.
Some were asked to think of a time they held power.
They were told tests ranked them as high achievers.
Others were told to think of a time they were abused.
They were then told the test ranked them low.
The high-power teams out-performed the other one.

A similar experiment with teachers under scores this.
One group was told their students were exceptional.
The other group was told theirs were slow learners.
The children were all average performers.
But at year end, the “exceptionals” tested high.
The “show learners” tested much lower.
The researchers’ conclusion:
The students responded to the teachers’ expectations.

As a teenager, I made several bad choices.
I played around in school and failed to study.
My straight As went to straight Ds.
A tough, fiery-haired Miss Sullivan straightened me out.
She had checked records of my past performance.
She told me she expected more than I was doing.
She encouraged and occasionally bullied me.
It was a test of wills . . . and she won.
It worked. My grades and my attitude improved.
I still recall her fondly and how much I owe her.

What can we learn from this?
People rise to our expectations of them.
We also rise to our own expectations of ourselves.
Think of ourselves and our colleagues as winners.
It’s the inner game of winning.
It how leaders consistently win at everything.

For more on leadership, read my new book.
“What It Costs to Be the Boss” can change your life.
Email me for a free sampler.

Do incentives motivate?

What we can learn from Ben Franklin

Most of us believe incentives motivate most of us.
Reward the behaviors you want.
The way pro athletes are financially rewarded.
Penalize behaviors you don’t want.
The way pro athletes are fined for transgressions.

We believe incentives motivate our colleagues.
Even motivate our spouses, sons and daughters.
And that’s probably true up to a point.
But recent research suggests a flaw in this thinking.
The greater the reward, the more it may demotivate.
This could be caused by excessive fear of loss.

Neuroscientists offered cash prizes up to $100.
Participants had only to hit a video game target.
Higher stakes showed a drop in brain activity.
This was in the “rewards” area of our brains.
They read this as neurological “loss aversion”.
Some subjects feared losing the prize.
That led them to “choke”.

We have seen athletes choke with a game on the line.
We have seen others “take over” the game.
Great athletes take over rather than choke.
This has little to do with athletic ability.
At the pro level, all are exceptional athletes.
It’s the inner game that matters most.

What can we learn from this?
As leaders, we must pay attention to how others act.
Which ones rise to greater incentives?
Which ones choke on higher rewards?
Which ones excel when the game is on the line?
How do we ourselves react to greater risk?

Entrepreneurs are praised as great risk takers.
But many fear loss more than crave rewards.
Knowing this, measure your own risk tolerance.
Use Ben Franklin’s risk-benefit analysis model.
Do the rewards out number the consequences?
That can be our go signal to go for the gold.
If consequence outweighs reward, do the opposite.
This is what true leaders do every day.
It is the way they think and analyze future actions.

For more on leadership, read my new book.
“What It Costs to Be the Boss” can change your life.
Email me for a free sampler.

Five essentials of success

Child-like curiosity is desirable

There’s a much well-meaning advice on succeeding.
We can read about it, hear about it, learn about it.
But until we practice it, it’s just a lot of advice.
Business coach P.T. McClure prescribes these steps:

1. Know your purpose. It seems fundamental.
Have you taken on a task without a clear purpose?
Without knowing what you want to accomplish?
Purpose is one key to live a fulfilling life.
I stumbled into journalism because it looked exciting.
I did not think about its essential purpose.
That took years to figure out, slow learner that I am.

2. Be willing to change bad habits.
This usually takes a painful wake-up call.
I was addicted to tobacco for a dozen years.
Beating it, giving it up was stress-inducing.
I was difficult to live and work with.
My craving was so intense it jangled my nerves.
A friend with emphysema influenced my decision.
Keep smoking and end up with his condition.
Fear can be a strong motivator.

3. Be grateful for your life’s bounty.
Your family. Your friends. Your faith.
What your mistakes and failures have taught you.
My career pursuits dominated my thinking and my life.
I took my loving family for granted. Big mistake.
It took many years to see the error of my ways.
Be grateful for what you have while you have it.

4. Never stop learning. Be a lifelong learner.
There’s nothing wrong with child-like curiosity.
Albert Einstein advised us to be passionately curious.
We don’t know when our next epiphany may come.
Take notes. Keep a journal. Read good books.
Heard anyone say, “I don’t have time to read?”
How sad. Study. Make the most of life.
Even at my age I read constantly and learn.

5. Find a mentor. A half dozen are better.
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
Many wise, experienced mentors helped me.
They showed me the way. Asked the right questions.
They encouraged me. Helped me solve problems.
My way of thanking them is to help others.
Be unselfish. Share your hard-won wisdom.

For more on this, read “Your Life’s Great Purpose”.

Great book, I modestly say. Email me for details.