Tuesday, July 27, 2010



Our language’s toughest word

For millions of us, “no” is the toughest word to say.
Especially when a friend asks for our help.
My wife used to get after me all the time.
“You’re a sucker for anyone who asks,” she said.
She was right. Now I’ve reformed.
I’m not rude. I can say no politely . . . and mean it.
One reader wrote in frustration about this the other day.
“All of my career, I’ve been roped into things I don’t like doing.
‘I haven’t figured out how to just say no to friends.
“Got any ideas on graceful ways to say no?”
Yes, here are five ways to do it.
1. “I can’t do it. I’m sorry. Thanks for asking.”
2. “I appreciate you asking but I don’t have the time now.”
3. “You know I don’t make commitments loosely. I can’t now.”
4. “Try me later? I may be able to do it then.”
5. “You know, Joe would be a better choice to do this.”
There are probably a dozen more ways to say it.
Out of respect for the friend who asks, observe three rules.
1. Be polite but firm.
2. Always tell the truth.
3. Stand by your decision to say no.


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