Two words for a happy marriage

One of my worst mistakes was made out of ego.
I was ambitious, headstrong and career driven.
We lived on a golf course at the foot of the mountains.
My family was happy and so was I . . . relatively.
But the challenges of the job had been conquered.
I was growing restless and eager for a new challenge.
Along came an offer. Bigger challenge. Bigger paycheck.
Despite my families misgivings, I accepted the job.
I conquered the new challenges . . . then was fired.
I did what they hired me to do. That was the end of that.
I’m fortunate I didn’t lose my marriage and children.
I have since learned the two words for a happy marriage.
Yes. That’s right. They are: “Yes, dear.”
Here are five tips to enrich your relationships:
1. Be realistic about your relationships.
You and your partner won’t like everything about each other.
Think of what you like. Don’t dwell on what you dislike.
Do the same with your children, parents and friends.
2. Support each other. Life’s hard. We need support.
God gives us tests of character almost every day.
We all need someone watching our backs.
3. List 10 things you like about your spouse.
Put it in your wallet or purse and read it from time to time.
It’s OK to add to it, too, when you find a new one you like.
You’ll do yourself a favor to do the same for your children.
4. Spend 10 minutes each day talking with your spouse.
Talk about anything but work, chores or anything unpleasant.
Talk about dreams. What to do this weekend. On vacation.
5. Compliment your spouse on something he or she did.
Show appreciation. Affection. Respect. Love.
Heard a good joke? Share a laugh together.
And practice saying “Yes, dear”. They are golden words.

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Independent thinking encouraged

Here's an pre-Independence Day thought for you.
What would we be without non-conformists?
Without contrarians, would we be living in caves?
Radical thinkers are responsible for our progress.
They had the guts to take on conventional wisdom.
Galileo. Columbus. Joan of Arc. Our Founding Fathers.
Some were ostracized. Some burned at the stake.
Think about that five days before Independence Day.
If our ancestors had played it safe we would still be . . .
. . . British subjects, speaking English, not American.
Saying “Jolly good” instead of “You all”.
Don’t shun, avoid or look askance at contrarians.
Don’t pity us or condescend to us.
We play an important role in world progress.
Do you have a contrarian streak in you?
It has not made you wildly popular, has it?
If you tend to think conventionally you need . . .
Drum roll . . . a contrarian to shake up your thinking.
Radical thinking runs in our family.
We shake each other up . . . quite often.
Life is never dull around our place.
If you tend to be super-cautious, tolerate us.
We mean you no harm. Really. Sincerely.
We’re just that way. Welcome us. We will rock you.
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For more unconventional thinking, click here.

Keep your amateur spirit alive

Our friend Jules Ciotta sent a short essay recently.
Amateurs do what they want to do naturally, he wrote.
They aren’t overly concerned about consequences.
They throw themselves into projects and make them work.
Amateurs have no limits because they don’t know they exist.
Experts are corseted by how things are supposed to be.
As leaders, we must avoid too many rules and limitations.
We must give our amateurs the room to create new ways.
We must encourage them to be bold. To take chances.
To ask for forgiveness rather than permission.
Amateurs are the true entrepreneurs in our organizations.
As organizations mature, we must resist bureaucracy.
A friend ran a school for children with learning challenges.
She loved the kids, the school and the work.
But that changed with a new management.
Decisions were made by the bureaucrats.
She had to have approval to try anything new.
Feeling boxed in, she resigned. That was a real loss.
Management lost a gifted leader. The kids did, too.
Johnny Zinoni managed a home for alcoholics.
He often flew by the seat of his pants but he made it work.
The chairman of his board was often at odds with him.
Being deeply religious, he told me why he did what he did.
“He just doesn’t know who has me by the seat of my pants.”
If we don’t encourage risk, we won’t innovate.
What we produce will become time worn and lose value.
Fly by the seat of your pants and incite others to do it, too.
For help in flying by the seat of your pants click here.

Never give in

The movie “Facing the Giants” has several emotional moments.
In one, the coach challenges the team’s defensive star.
He must do the “death crawl” blindfolded to the 50-year line.
In the death crawl, you crawl on your hands and feet.
You carry another player on your back.
You are in full pads, in the sweltering Georgia summer sun.
As he crawls forward in fatigue and pain, the coach coaxes him.
“Don’t give up on me, Brock,” the coach keeps telling him.
But Brock wants to quit. “It’s too hard,” he screams.
But the coach urges him to keep going.
All the other players stop what they're doing to watch.
They realize the coach is teaching the star a major lesson.
When Brock finally collapses, he takes off the blindfold.
He realizes he is in the end zone. He has crawled 100 yards.
It is a decisive lesson for the entire team. “Never give up.”
In the big game, the team is behind and exhausted.
The coach keeps urging them to stay in and play.
You'll have to see the movie to find out what happens.
Winston Churchill was asked to speak to the boys at Harrow.
He was a Harrow graduate who became prime minister.
It was an horrific time for the English.
The Nazis were bombing their cities nightly.
Churchill used his oratory to rally his nation.
Churchill told the boys, “Never give in, never, ever, ever . . .
"In all things great or small . . . never give in.”
It is one of Churchill's most inspiring speeches.
For more on learning from his example, click here.
It's a link to Ron Kurtus' School for Champions.
When you are tempted to quit, remember the “death crawl”.
When you are tempted to give in, remember Churchill.
Losers give in . . . winners never do.
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Will you settle for less?

In “Room at the Top”, Laurence Harvey’s character says:
“It’s not what I want. It’s what I’ll settle for.”
Maybe the young have to settle for less in the U.K.
It’s a socialist economy that limits personal initiative.
That’s not true in America, the land of opportunity.
Look at the success of Eastern Europeans and Asians here.
Many come to this country with little money or English.
They work hard for years to become “overnight successes”.
Our friend Nido Qubein came here as a youth with $50.
He learned English only after he arrived.
Nido was smart, ambitious and determined to succeed.
Today he is chairman of his own successful business.
He is the author of bestselling books and CDs.
He is an accomplished, in-demand professional speaker.
He is president of High Point (N.C.) University.
He has raised millions of dollars for the school.
I don’t think Nido ever settled for anything.
When we settle for anything, we limit ourselves.
Dan Kennedy writes in “The Ultimate Success Secret”:
“What you are willing to accept is what you get.”
Dream big. Believe in yourself and your dream.
Develop a plan. Adjust your plan as you need to.
Life teaches us to make necessary adjustments.
Don’t settle for less than achieving your dream.
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For more on achieving your dreams, click here.